About two years ago my provincial superior asked me if I would take on a "temporary" assignment: overseeing the maintenance of our large building complex here in Boston and supervising our maintenance staff. This was in addition to my regular assignment in our editorial department. Naively, I said yes, not dreaming what it would lead to: nightmare!
All of a sudden my life changed from working quietly in my editorial office to being at the center of every emergency that can ever happen in a large building like this.
Sister Caroline is trapped in the elevator: call Sr Lorraine!
The hot water heater isn't working: call Sr Lorraine!
The fire alarm goes off in middle of the night: call Sr Lorraine!
There's a flood in the mail room! call Sr Lorraine!
I could go on--part of the garage roof just blew off, water is pouring out of this pipe, it's 20 degrees below zero and the heat won't work, it's 100 degrees above zero and the AC won't work, smoke is pouring out of the boiler room--well, you get the picture. Of course most emergencies don't happen when our maintenance men are here but at the weirdest hours of the day or night.
My provincial had told me to let her know if this assignment started to interfere with my editorial work. So at a certain point, when I realized I was not getting much editorial work done, I told her yes, it was getting difficult to juggle all these duties. "Just so you know, this is the situation--I'm willing to do whatever you need but it's getting a little hard to balance all this."
So this past week she told me she had found another sister who could take this on, and I could fully dedicate my time to editorial. I felt really relieved. I was a liberated nun! I actually started to get some editorial work done this week. What a relief! It was truly a big load off my shoulders.
But then this morning as the full realization started to sink in, I found to my surprise that I found myself feeling a little sad. Sad? Am I crazy? Do I really miss getting nagged to death?
It's all part of life's little losses. Even when things are burdensome in some ways, they're enriching in other ways. Maybe I feel a little less needed now that everyone's not calling me for their maintenance emergencies. I got a sense of satisfaction from getting the house fixed up in different ways, making it nicer for the sisters, improving the physical atmosphere. It can depress morale if you walk into a bathroom and find a sink not working and a toilet broken. That makes it seem like no one cares. But when things are fixed promptly and even little problems taken care of, it sends an important message: We care about our house because we care about our sisters. It's a way of showing respect for the sisters in our community.
So even though in many ways I am relieved not to have this duty anymore, I'm grateful for the opportunity it gave me to learn and to be of service to my community. Letting it go now is part of life's little losses in one way. But being able to give it up is part of the freedom that obedience brings. I'll think of that as I turn over my master key.