I would like to let you know about a personal decision that I have come to, after a process of much discernment and prayer.
This may come as a shock. I haven’t even informed my superiors about it.
As you know, this year I came in third in the Easter egg hunt. For the past two years I claimed the silver medal, and for years before that, too many for me to count, I was the undisputed champion of the Easter egg hunt. I really brought home the gold.
But the time has come, as it must for all athletes, to recognize that I have lost my golden touch. A gradual decline has set in.
Last year, I considered this option when I suffered the humiliation of having lost the contest to a little girl. I considered retiring from the Easter egg hunt. But no, I had to do it one more time.
So I did, and I came in third. At least it was a bronze. Some sisters gently suggested that it might be best to retire while I was still in the medals. What if next year I came in last? How could I ever endure that humiliation? It might be better to go out, if not in a blaze of glory, at least without egg on my face.
So, with a heavy heart, I am announcing my retirement from the Easter egg hunt.
It’s been a great run, and I’d like to thank everyone involved. As hard as this is for me to say this, it's over. There's only one way for me to play the game, and that's 100 percent. I have no regrets as I look back on my career. Sure, I would have liked to earn one more gold medal. But I look forward next year to hiding the eggs—I know all the best places!